


Night Out: Brazilian Barbecue 2(KankriXReader)

by orphan_account



Series: Night Out reader inserts [7]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Reader Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 04:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3343490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	Night Out: Brazilian Barbecue 2(KankriXReader)

You and your family pulled up to the restaurant, and climbed out quickly. The place always looked empty whenever you came, and you didn’t know why. It did look like there were a few random people in there, but nowhere near the crowds you thought should be. Oh well. More garlic bread and roasted pineapple for you then.

 

You stood still for a second scanning the room’s inhabitants. Just the usual; a few people on dates, one or two families, and a big group of trolls. You frowned; you were pretty sure that the special you’d watched had mentioned trolls didn’t form families like humans did unless they entered a relationship with a human. So why were they gathered like a human family?

 

The two shortest looked about your age. There was a girl with a big green trench coat and a blue cat-eared hat, saying something with her hands spazzing in a very familiar motion; something like fangirl happiness, you guessed. There was also an angry looking boy with a black sweater and dark circles worse than your own, and that was saying something. He looked at the younger girl, his eye twitched, and he buried his face in his hands.

 

The other kids looked a few years older than them. The girl looked like one of those sweet, wholesome girls in her cute black skirt and olive green polo. Her hair was long, tangly, and looked like something straight out of a fairytale, and she was talking rather loudly to the older boy. He had an oversized bright red sweater that hurt your eyes the first time you looked at it. His hair was curly, and there was a slightly adorable look on his face when he blinked at the older girl, opening his mouth like he was going to speak, but closed it again.

 

Your sister began jumping up and down and crying, saying she was hungry. Your mother immediately shushed her, but she kept wigging out, and your face burned. The older troll boy looked up. A few of his unruly black curls fell in his eyes, which were a bright scarlet, and you gave him an apologetic look. He smiled and shrugged it off, before he returned to his conversation with the oldest looking trolls.

 

The woman was olive themed like the other females, and they kind of looked like her, too. She had extremely wild hair, that was at present held back by an olive green bow. On any other woman, that might have looked childish, but somehow she pulled it off. Her eyes were the same olive green as the girls’, and she radiated life and happiness. She was strong, too; you could see it in the lean muscles in her bare arms. She looked vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t place where you might have seen her before.

 

You turned your attention to the last occupant of the table, the oldest male. He looked like the boys; same red theme and eyes, the same angles of the face. There was a kind smile on his face, the kind for really good teachers and parents. He just generally had the face of someone you would trust. He looked even more familiar than the olive woman, and you racked your brain for five minutes while simultaneously wondering why you hadn’t been seated yet when it hit you.

 

“Oh my god!” you gasped, immediately turning around, trying to conceal your face while your hands spazzed uncontrollably. Your mother gave you an alarmed look.

 

“Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked quickly, glancing around the restaurant for whatever had made you freak out. You still hadn’t calmed down; in fact, you were getting more worked up by the second. Your hands were shaking as you tried to shove your Signless pendant under your shirt. Why oh why, (y/n), had you decided to wear a v-neck today, of all days?

 

“I’m fine, totally fine!” you squeaked, your voice going up several octaves. “Just, you know, in the presence of freaking troll Jesus, don’t mind me!”

 

Your mother raised an eyebrow. Your dad looked confused, and your brother just gave you a “what the hell’ look. You facepalmed.

 

You ripped the necklace off and shoved it haphazardly in your pocket, and then lowered your voice to avoid drawing attention to yourself. “Either I’m going insane, or that’s the freaking Signless. The _Signless_! The hero of the rebellion! The saviour of trollkind!”

 

You glared at your parents, not noticing the amused glances coming your way. “It’s like meeting Jesus. Or Mohammed. Or Buddha. People like that. It’s a big fucking deal!”

 

“Your table is ready.” the waitress came over and said, which was an absolute godsend, as you were about to blow a gasket. You rubbed your temples as you followed the woman and sat down in the first seat you got to, burying your face in your hands. A headache was beginning to bloom in the back of your skull, and your sister still whining wasn’t helping.

 

“Excuse me, ma’am,” you heard your mom say as she pulled her seat out. Another woman’s voice rang out, cheerful and clear.

 

“It’s no problem!” she said, her voice carrying an accent you couldn’t quite place. You looked up from the comforting darkness of your hands, and froze. Your mom was talking to the olive woman. Your table was back to back with the Signless and his family.

 

You let your head drop back into your hands to hide your burning face. Of course. You could even bet that they had heard you freaking out. Well, at least you’d have something interesting to put on Tumblr other than feminist rants, cat photos, and fanfiction. Wait, would any of them go on Tumblr?! Maybe you shouldn’t do that.

 

_Do not notice me, do not pay attention to me, do not recognize me as a sentient being, please_ , you thought to yourself, barely thanking the waiter when he set a glass of ice water in front of you. Dimly remembering you were supposed to, you know, _eat_ here, you rubbed your temples again, got up, and went down to the buffet line to get a plate. As you went, the troll boy from before finished his plate and followed you to get his own refill.

 

You didn’t look at him, preferring to keep your dignity, and concentrated on filling your plate. Or at least, you were before someone quietly cleared their throat behind you. You turned to the boy with a questioning look on your face.

 

“Can I help you?” you asked. He raised one dark eyebrow, and began to speak.

 

“Obviously, you can indeed help me, or else I would have signaled for aid from someone else, miss.” he intoned. “In addition, you should consider your manner of speech. You could trigger someone with your rather surly tone. Luckily, I am not triggered by such things, but you may not be so lucky with others, and it would be advisable to tag any possible triggers in future conversation.”

 

You didn’t let your mouth drop open out of politeness. Good god. This guy could give some of the bloggers you knew a run for their money. You raised an eyebrow of your own.

 

“Okay...what did you want, then?” you asked. That kind of sounded ruder than what you had said before. He began to look annoyed, but at least he answered you.

 

“The...smallest human at your table is being rather loud and triggering several other diners as well as myself. I would have told her to tag her triggers myself, but Leoana informed me that most humans that size would not take such a chastising very well, and would in fact become more triggering in the process. Therefore, I decided the best course of action would be to inform another of her triggering...shouting.”

 

This time you let your mouth open a bit. It snapped shut a moment later, and you drew yourself up a bit with your full plate still in your hands. What do you know. You had an inch or two on him. He backed up a step as he took in the glare on your face.

 

“Look, dude. My sister is six-three sweeps-six years old. She’s hungry. She’s still a wriggler. Of course she’s a little loud, and she isn’t even being that bad. And you don’t need to say you’re triggered or other people are when you’re just annoyed by her talking loudly. I know people with _real_ triggers who would be very insulted by that. I’ll try to get her to calm down a bit, but it really isn’t that big of a deal. And you may want to rethink your delivery if you don’t want to piss people off.” you said, before turning and walking back to your table.

 

As you sat down, you noticed the boy slink back to his table with a strange look on his face. One of the girls let out a giggle. You ignored it, instead turning back to your family and talking as you normally would. You did end up telling your sister to tone it down a bit, but she was already stuffing garlic bread into her mouth, which made you think she would be okay now. Your brother had saved a piece for you when it came around, and as you bit into it, you felt someone tap your chair.

 

You quickly, and painfully, swallowed the big bite you had taken, and twisted around in your chair. The troll boy shifted uncomfortably in his seat at the questioning look on your face.

 

“I apologize if this question triggers you, but your speech a moment ago sounded vaguely familiar to me...are you perhaps Tumblr user heavy-is-the-heart?” he asked quickly, appearing ready to shrink back into his sweater at any moment if you triggered him again. Your eyes widened in shock, and you had to force yourself to not break out into a mild spazz attack.

 

“You...read my blog?” you asked in confusion. His eyes lit up, and the other boy groaned aloud.

 

“Word of advice, human, run away now. You’ve started something you will hate yourself for starting.” he growled. You winced slightly at his tone before turning back to the older boy. He had an intense look on his face, one that told you; a, you were in for an argument, and b, the younger boy had been right. Very, very right.

 

“Obviously, considering the untagged triggering content of your written works, as well as lack of knowledge on the media from which they were based on, I was not able to read much of them. However, I was quite impressed by your enthusiasm for and knowledge of the Alternian and Beforan cultures. I was also rather intrigued by your emphatic expression of your political views, if a bit confused as to why so much of your blog is dedicated to the rather pseudoscientific belief in sexism. Furthermore-”

 

You cut him off, the anger beginning to build in your system. “First of all, there are absolutely no untagged triggers in any of my fanfic. My beta and I go over it twice, EACH, and I always have people tell me anything I miss if I do. Second of all, did you _seriously_ just fucking say sexism is _pseudoscience_?! I don’t know if it works differently for trolls, but all you need to do is turn on the fucking _news_ to see sexism isn’t pseudoscience. Look it up, there’s tons of highly credible evidence-” you said hotly, beginning to get out of your chair, when your mother spoke up. Come to think of it, you were surprised she hadn’t said anything sooner.

 

“(y/n), sit back down and stop swearing or else you’ll have to go out to the car.” she said quietly. You shrank down in your seat, hot-faced and embarrassed beyond belief. Your mom nodded, and turned to the oldest trolls.

 

“I’m terribly sorry, sir, ma’am.” she said apologetically. The man shook his head and smiled gently.

 

“Don’t worry about it. Kankri tends to get into arguments with everyone he meets.” he said warmly. “It’s isn’t a big deal.” He looked over at you, and smiled a little smile. You flushed.

 

The rest of your meal was passed in silence, and you ate as quickly as you could, just wanting to get out and calm your mind. None of the trolls talked to you again, or looked at you as far as you could tell. You had a feeling you would be in trouble when you got home, and you felt kind of crappy with the remnants of still being pissed off. At this point, you just wanted the dinner to be over.

 

When you did finish, your family left rather quickly. While your parents paid the bill, you went to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. You almost tripped coming out, which of course had to draw the attention of-what had the Signless said, Kankri? You looked away from the red eyes you were sure were making fun of you in his mind, and ran out of the restaurant to catch up with your family.

 

Before you got off the sidewalk, you heard footsteps behind you. You spun around, raising your fists and ready to punch someone, and Kankri stepped back with alarm. You rolled your eyes, even though it hurt with your now-pounding head, and asked a little more rudely then you should have, “What?”

 

Kankri tensed slightly, but squared his shoulders and held his left hand out to you. In it was your Signless necklace. You looked at it, than him, and winced. It must have fallen out of your pocket when you tripped.

 

“Um...thank you.” you said quietly, reaching out and plucking the necklace from his hand. When your fingers brushed his palm, an electric shock stung your hand. You yelped, and Kankri did too, pulling his hand away quickly and shaking it. You laughed nervously.

 

“Ah...sorry about that,” you mumbled, putting the necklace back on and triple checking the clasp. “Stupid static cling.”

 

Kankri nodded sharply, turning and going back into the restaurant. Before he shut the door, he looked back at you over his shoulder, giving you a cursory glance. It was only a moment, though, and the door closed behind the red sweater as you walked out to your family’s car, ready for some aspirin and a long nap.

 

When you got home and checked your messages, there was one new follower on your blog.


End file.
